Do masochists and sadists who work in IT (what am I saying, if you work in IT you are probably both?!?) insist on having safe words that consist of upper- and lower-case characters, containing at least one number and one symbol and must not be a common word or name?

You know why I became an engineer instead of a doctor? Because people don’t get offended after you have shipped their app and they declare “It’s a miracle! Thank God!” and you respond “You’re welcome.” Also, just like that colleague who is never around when there’s “roll up your sleeves and do the dirty work”… Continue reading the rest of “Medical Engineering.”

Wandering around Cardiff today. Needed to use the bathroom in the new shopping center. They have motion detecting lights in the bathrooms. I say “Thank you” when the light switches on automatically. I am not too bright.

I don’t need sex regularly. I get fucked by the government and county council pretty much everyday.

Faith healers work in hospitals and emergency departments in the same way that psychics always win every lottery and bingo game.

This morning I was hanging around the computer lab talking to my friend John and we were talking about the digital paper/electronic ink announcement from earlier in the week. His position is that once digital paper really takes off we won’t have to carry around books any more. My position is that books have inherent… Looking to get the remainder of “Digital paper won’t replace books any time soon?” Click this!

The comfy chairs in conference rooms should have little motors attached to the wheels and sensors. When everyone gets up to leave, the last one out hits a button near the light switch and the chairs neatly arrange themselves around the conference table ready for next time. If a conference chair has five spokes for… Continue reading the remainder of “Self-docking chairs.”

So in response to “Can we fit this in the embedded system’s RAM?” I responded “You can have it small, fast, or understandable. Pick two.”

The big secret to success is to never make the same mistake twice. You need to make the same mistake six or seven times just to make sure you understand what you are doing wrong.

If you’re not doing any marketing for your software product, you’re doing the equivalent of wanking off in a dark room that’s full of people. You might know what you’re doing, it might be a lot of fun, but (thankfully) nobody else has a clue what you’re up to and won’t pay you the slightest… Need to get the rest of “Jerk!?” Click this link!