Why do many recruiters these days even bother to show up for work? I got a bunch of emails today from what are apparently reputable companies that went straight in the trash. Definitely worth a laugh on a gloomy day like today by pointing out someone else’s ineptitude at their job.

I’m just going to pull out two egregious examples for now. Vicky works at a company called Amtex Systems. I’ve received three of these idiotic emails in the past two hours. I can only assume that “Vicky” is very young and inexperienced or perhaps just desperate.

Job Requirement - Sharepoint Developer HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Exclusive!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please help.....

And another one.

HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT            VERY HOTTTTTTTTTT VERY
Title	: HOTTTT/Salesforce.com Developer/Administrator

And yet a third one

Urgnet Requirement / Test Script Author / Tester
Very hottttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please send resume!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Test Script Author/Tester
8-9years exp
Rates:-40-43/hr on c2c

Evidently the last one shows not only an inability to communicate professionally but also an inability to actually read a resume. $80K? $80K won’t even begin to cover my bills.

Perhaps if you’re super interested in working on projects that are “HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT” and “URGNETTTTTTTTTTTTTT” (sic) you can contact Vicky directly at kapil@amtexinfo.com and let her know your interested.

Also, this one from Derek at dstewart@aspire-1.com

I wanted to reach out to you and see if you or someone you may know would be interested in this position.

That’s the first line of the email. A classic case of fishing for your contacts. “Hey! You’re a pretty girl, would you or someone you may know be interested in dating someone I might know?” Point #7 on this post illustrates perfectly why this kind of wording pisses me off. Yeah, this is why girls gave you withering looks in high school and still do, to this day. They aren’t being cold to you for no reason, they’re blowing you off because you are socially retarded.

I think most recruitment companies these days are applying the Italian Spaghetti method to searching for candidates and getting them in the doors of client companies; throw as much shit at the wall as you possibly can, as fast as you can, and see what sticks.

Now I know what a quest giver in World of Warcraft feels like when viewed by a player. I am sure the picture on the right is what recruiters see when they look at me and my resume.

There’s always been lazy recruiters, just like there are lazy people in every industry, but lately I’ve been noticing that the recruitment and head hunter industry is in a race to the bottom of who can do it cheaper and faster. From massive, outsourced foreign call centres who are pretending to be based in New York or Los Angeles, but you can never meet them in person and everyone speaks with a barely understandable accent as they read hesitatingly from the script in front of them all the way to recruiters that have “no clue” when they send you to a creative agency for an interview, insisting that you wear a three piece suit. It’s okay to look smart, it’s okay to look professional, but the other software developers at a creative development agency are going to take one look at you and say “no thanks, won’t fit in” before the interview has even begun.

Also, my resume is here if you’re interested in hiring me on a corp-to-corp or independent contractor basis for anything software development, technical director, or team lead related. 32+ years of experience developing commercial software and high traffic web sites across a variety of platforms. If there is a technology out there, I’ve probably used it on a project or product in some capacity. Feel free to contact me at justin@imf.la.

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