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I don’t need sex regularly. I get fucked by the government and county council pretty much everyday.

Faith healers work in hospitals and emergency departments in the same way that psychics always win every lottery and bingo game.

This morning I was hanging around the computer lab talking to my friend John and we were talking about the digital paper/electronic ink announcement from earlier in the week. His position is that once digital paper really takes off we won’t have to carry around books any more. My position is that books have inherent… Continue reading the remainder of this article

The comfy chairs in conference rooms should have little motors attached to the wheels and sensors. When everyone gets up to leave, the last one out hits a button near the light switch and the chairs neatly arrange themselves around the conference table ready for next time. If a conference chair has five spokes for… Needing to get the rest of “Self-docking chairs?” Click this link!

So in response to “Can we fit this in the embedded system’s RAM?” I responded “You can have it small, fast, or understandable. Pick two.”

The big secret to success is to never make the same mistake twice. You need to make the same mistake six or seven times just to make sure you understand what you are doing wrong.

If you’re not doing any marketing for your software product, you’re doing the equivalent of wanking off in a dark room that’s full of people. You might know what you’re doing, it might be a lot of fun, but (thankfully) nobody else has a clue what you’re up to and won’t pay you the slightest… Continue reading the rest of the post

Having lived some time in Germany, and not yet seen a German Scrabble board yet, I was wondering this… When Germans play Scrabble, do they need a bigger game board? Or when they run out of room, do they just go to other nearby countries, e.g. Poland, and take their boards by force?

I don’t have an ex-girlfriend. I have a perfectly good example of what I should never do, ever again.

Got on a roll answering questions in CompSci yesterday, Stupid girl who thinks she is a better programmer than me turns around and says “Jesus Christ, you are such a fucking nerd.” “Hey, don’t put him down for knowing the answers.” chimes Mike (the teacher), “You should be nice, he might be your boss one… Thirsting to read the remainder of “Be the boss of me?” Click this link!